Shame
by XxFraGileAndBrOkenXx
Summary: Follow the stories of Riley, Maya, Lucas, Farkle, Zay, Missy and Josh. These stories include issues such as eating disorders, homophobia, domestic violence.
1. Riley's story part 1

My heart sinks slightly when I stare at myself in the mirror, no wonder that Charlie hasn't wanted to be physical with me in weeks.

I'm hideous.

How have I let my once skinny figure, turn into a fat mess.

Since when did my stomach hang over so much? Soon enough I won't be able to see my toes.

I grimace when I see the fat stuck to my thighs, how have I let this happen to myself?

I shake my head as I give myself a reassuring look, it's okay Riles. If you can put on weight then you can lose it.

I'll just have to go onto a strict diet.

I'll just limit my calorie intake and just start doing my exercise.

And then hopefully Charlie will want to have sex with me again.

I bit my lip before I pick up a pair of leggings and a baggy jumper so that I'm able to hide my unflattering features such as my stomach and bulging hips.

I let out a small sigh when I glance at myself in the mirror once again, I look even bigger than before.

I tie my chocolate coloured curls into a messy bun at the top of my head, before filling in my eyebrows and applying a few coats of mascara to my eyelashes.

I take my phone off it's charger and quickly send Charlie, a quick text.

 _'Heyy babe, when are you coming to mine? Classes start in 40 mins xxxx'_

Nausea waves over me when I hear obnoxious giggling coming from my brothers bedroom, I open my door slightly and peak my head out to hear the owner of the stupidest laughter I've ever heard.

I see a girl with caramel coloured hair, a jumper dress which barely covered her ass and a pair of knee high boots.

To be fair to this girl, her boots where really quite nice, I'll have to investigate where she got them from.

My phone dings which breaks me away from my spying.

 _Charlie: 'Sorry Riles, I'm goin to Zays before school instead. See u at lunch xxxx'_

My heart sinks, as frustrated tears attempt to escape from my eyes, but I quickly shake them away.

He's not been the same with me in weeks.

It'll be because of all the weight I've gained, Charlie's really into his fitness, I bet the sight of me is repulsing him.

I grab my bag before leaving my bedroom and heading towards the kitchen.

My stomach growls as my the scent of freshly cooked bacon enters my nose.

I can have bacon, when I'm skinny. I tell myself.

"Hey Honey!" My mother greets as she kisses the side of my head and then dashes towards the front door of our apartment, "Bye Honey!"

I make my way towards the table where the food for me and my brother's have been laid out, I quickly take my plate and scrape it into the bin so that I'm not tempted to devour the mouth-watering food.

I turn my head when I hear that obnxoious giggling once again, I stiffle laughter when I see an annoyed look cross my brothers face.

"Morning Riles!" He greets as he steps towards me and ruffles my hair.

I narrow my eyes up at him, "Hey Josh"

"Have you already ate your breakfast?"

I shrug, "I had some toast, I wasn't feeling up to mom's fry up"

Josh shrugs, "Fair enough"

"Josh, aren't you going to introduce?"

"You speak english, introduce yourself"

I snort before turning towards the blonde girl, "Hey, I'm Riley"

"I'm Missy"

"And we need to get to school" I say as I glance towards my brother who's currently wolfing down his bacon.

The black haired boy nods before grabbing his car keys and his backpack from the living room, "Let's go"

"So has Josh mentioned me?" Missy whispers in my ear, making me cringe slightly.

"Josh only ever mentions Josh"

Josh laughs loudly, "You are not wrong"

I glance at Missy who's expression looks slightly fallen. Sympathy grows inside of me for this girl, she's obviously crazy about my brother and the likely-hood is she was just another girl to him.

"So Missy, I've not seen you around School much" I say awkwardly as we step-inside of the elevator.

Josh snorts, "That's usually because she's sucking dick"

Missy glares at him before giving me a sheepish smile, "He's just joking...he's joking"

I smile slightly, "It's okay, your secret is safe with me"

"It's not a secret!"

The caramel haired girl slaps my older brother, "Josh!" She whines.

"Come on Mis, you know that's what your known for, why else do you think we hooked up?"

Missy face flashes hurt and rejection, I resist the urge to give her a tight hug and offer her some green-tea, depsite the fact that we're in a elevator.

"Yeah, your right" Missy murmurs softly as she stares intently at her shoes.

The elevator doors open to reveal a smirking figure, the person nods at me before stepping inside.

"Hey man" My brother greets.

Farkle nods, "Hey, you still owe me"

Josh nods, "Yeah it's twenty right?"

"Yeah give it me tonight"

My eyebrows furrow together, "What's tonight?"

"I'm throwing a party baby Matthews"

I narrow my eyes, "I'm not a baby, there's two years difference between us"

Farkle ignores me and just chuckles.

"Riley, why don't you come to the party?" Missy says quietly.

"Because Riles, isn't sociable. The only person she talks to is her tool of a boyfriend"

I narrow my eyes, "Charlie isn't a tool"

"He's the definition of tool!"

"I really think, that you should come tonight. It'd be nice to get to know you"

I nod as I smile towards the older girl, "I'll think about it"

"Don't think, just come!" Missy says as she reaches forward and grabs my hand, "I'll come your place after school and then we can get ready together"

I sigh slightly before nodding, "Sure, whatever."

Farkle blinks as he looks up at me, "You're actually going to attend a party"

I shrug, "I may as well try it"

Josh grins as he wraps an arm around my shoulder, "Baby sis, I promise you'll love it"

…

I let out a small sigh as I wait for Charlie where we usually meet before we head towards the cafeteria.

Where the hell is he?!

"Matthews!" A voice sneers.

I roll my eyes before I turn my head towards the owner of the voice, "Karen"

"I heard, you're going to Farkle's party tonight"

I nod stiffly towards my ex-best friend, "Yeah I think I am"

"Is Charlie coming?"

"I don't know, I've not really spoke to him about it"

Karen tilts her head, "Well I was texting him about it and he seemed pretty keen on the idea"

My eyes narrow massively, "You where texting him?"

"I have been all morning"

I nod, "If you'll excuse me" I say harshly as I barge past her as soon as I see a familiar flop of brown hair.

"What the hell?!" I cry out loudly.

Charlie blinks as he looks at me, "Hello to you too"

I cross my arms firmly against my chest, "So you decide to ignore all my messages this morning but you still find the time to message Karen"

Charlie rolls his eyes, "I replied to your message"

"Yeah the first one. And why the hell where you speaking to Karen?"

"Because she just wanted to know if I was going to Farkle's party"

"Well..."

"Well what?"

"Are you going?"

"Yeah I was going to go with Zay"

"Why not with me?"

"Because Riley, when do you ever go to parties"

A small smirk graces my lips, "Well for a matter of fact, I am going to Farkle's party"

"Bullshit"

"No I'm going, Missy convinced me"

Charlie snorts, "Missy Bradford, the slut of the century, convinced you Riley Matthews, to go to a party"

I nod as my eyes narrow even further, "Yeah, why are you finding that so hard to believe?"

"Why are you trying to pick at fight?"

Anger rises inside of me.

"Why the hell are you being an asshole?"

"Look, I'm not in the mood to fight"

"Well I'm not in the mood to be ignored, all the fucking time!" I hiss loudly.

"Whatever, I'll see you tonight" Charlie mutters before he walks past me.

I blink as I stare after him, what the fuck.

I feel tears burn my eyes.

I think I'm losing him, I don't think I'm good enough for him anymore.


	2. Riley's story part 2

Frantic knocking disturbs my attempt of having a nap, I slowly climb out of bed and walk towards my front door before swinging it open to reveal a grinning Missy holding two large bags.

"Hey!" She calls out happily.

I give her a tired smile, "Hey, aren't you a little early?"

Missy shakes her head seriously, "It's never too early to start getting ready"

I nod before stepping aside so that she can come inside.

"Is Josh here?" The brunette asks with hope shining in her voice.

"He's already at Farkle's"

Missy shrugs, "Oh well, take me to you room"

I follow her instructions and lead her towards my less than impressive bedroom, Missy quickly makes a dash towards my dressing table.

"So what kind of look are you going for tonight?" She asks as she pulls out what I presume is her makeup bag.

I shrug, "Probably, just some jeans and a nice top"

"Casual, I like it"

I purse my lips as I make my way towards my woredrobe to pull out my high waisted black skinny jeans and a off the shoulder flowy black top.

"Is your boyfriend meeting us here?"

I shake my head, "Uh no, he's going with his friend"

Missy furrows her eyebrows before nodding, "At least we get girl time"

I don't want girl time.

I want Charlie time.

"So how long have the two of you been together?"

I shrug, "A little over a year"

"Is the sex good?"

My eyes widen slightly, "Pardon?"

Missy giggles slightly, "Is his dick satisfying?"

"It's okay..."

"It's shit isn't it?"

"I wouldn't say shit, but he certainly care more about sorting himself out then sorting me"

Her hazel eyes roll, "If he's like that then I say just dump him"

"I can't dump him, I love him"

"But you're getting shit sex?"

I laugh, "Missy relationships don't revolve around sex"

"They don't?" She asks with confusuion lacing in her voice.

I laugh, "No they don't"

"Well this is brand new information"

"Are you planning on hooking up tonight?" I ask as I reterive my makeup bag from my dressing table.

Missy shrugs, "Most likely, guys always go for me because they know I'm easy"

"Do you ever catch feelings?" I ask curiously as I blend in my foundation with my beauty blender.

"...O-Only one guy I've ever caught feelings for"

"What happened?"

"He just saw me as fuck buddy"

"Well then he's a fucking idiot, who doesn't deserve a buddy like you"

Missy gives me a grin, "Really?!"

"Really" I say softly.

Over our half an hour together, Missy had really grown on me. She seemed like she really was a sweet girl but she was hiding behind a slutty facade because she's insecure and afraid of getting hurt.

I begin filing in my eyebrows and carving out my cheeks with contour, I blend an burnt orange shade through my crease before I use my eyeliner to create a catflick effect. I then finish of the touches with my make up by dusting highligher on the tops of my cheeks and my nose. I shrug at myself before applying a dark nude lipstick to my lips.

I bit my lip as I look in the mirror, think how pretty you'll look when your skinny Riles, I tell myself.

The thought makes me smile slightly, and almost makes tonight feel like it's bareable.

"I'm just going to change" I say as I grab my clothes of my bed and begin walking towards my on-suite bathroom. I quickly put on my jeans and top without glancing in the mirror so that I'm not invading by anymore negative thoughts about my body.

When I return to my bedroom, I see a fully ready Missy sat on my bed with a smile. She had a red lace bralet on with black skinny jeans. She had gold glitterly eyelids with eyeliner on and red lipstick. I blinked, she was actually really stunning.

"You look so good!" Missy exclaims, as she rushes towards me.

"So do you!"

"We're gonna be getting so much dick tonight"

"I have a boyfriend"

The brunette shrugs, "Boyfriend, smofriend"

I laugh, "You're one of your own"

"Well I do like to be orginal"

A ding breaks up our little friendship bonding moment, Missy quickly goes towards her phone.

"It's Josh, saying that people are arriving now"

"What is the deal with you and Josh?"

Missy falters slightly, "We just hook up, he likes me when I'm drunk and easy and not when I'm sober"

"I'm sure that's not-" I get cut off.

"No he told me that himself"

I feel anger towards my brother, how could he be such a dick when it comes to girls?

"Come on let's party!" Missy exclaims as she pulls out a bottle of wine from her bag, she quickly begins leaving my room.

My eyes widen at her eagerness, I grab my keys of the counter before leaving my apartment and locking it behind me.

We walk towards the elevator, and press the second floor below us.

"So is this your first proper party?"

"Yeah, I guess so"

"Oh it's exciting, I hope you enjoy it and then we can hang out at them more often"

my heart warms slightly, at Missy's kindness.

We step out of the elevator and already hear loudish music, we walk towards Farkle's apartment.

A smirking Farkle is stood at the door, "Ladies"

Missy rolls her eyes, "Hey Farkle"

"Baby Matthews! You actually came"

I nod awkwardly, "I did"

"Well enjoy yourselves" He says before inviting us inside, the living room was filled with people I hardly recongised.

Missy grabs my hand, "I won't leave you, I know how intimidating parties can be and especially for someone like you"

My eyebrows furrow together, "Someone like me?"

"Some one who's really pretty but also has that whole innocent vibe thing going on"

"Ahh"

"Do you want some wine?"

I shake my head, "I don't really drink"

"Fair enough, that just means more for me!" She exclaims happily causing laughter to escape my lips.

"Riles!" A slurred voice exclaims, I whip my head around and see my boyfriend who looks absolutely smashed.

"Charlie" I say with a slight sigh.

"Here we go, you're about to shout at me"

My eyebrows furrow together, "I wasn't going to shout at you babe"

"You always shout at me, because you're a stick in the mud! A fucking boring bitch!" He shouts as he gets extremely close to my face.

I let out a breath of relief, when Missy quickly pulls him away from me.

"Don't shout at someone like that!" She snaps.

"Like I'm ever going to listen to the school's slut, no one ever fucking listens to you!"

My eyes widen as I slap his shoulder, "What the fuck do you think you're dong?!"

"I'm telling the truth you're a boring bitch and Missy's a fat slut!" He hisses.

"Dude, I think you need to go" A familiar voice says, I turn my head and see Farkle stood there with a less-than impressed look.

"Come on Farkle, you must agree"

"I don't, so leave"

Charlie narrows his eyes at the taller boy, "You're just saying that so you can get into their pants, but news flash Riley's fucking shit in bed and Missy's probably crawling with herpes"

I look down uncomfortably, "Charlie, please can you just go. I'll even come with you" I say softly as I reach out to grab his hand.

He roughly slaps my hand away as he gets close to my face again, "I don't want you to come anywhere with me, I want to get as far away from you as possibly"

I feel tears prickle my eyes as I strangle the sob in my throat, "Okay, if that's what you want. Then I really hope you are happy and I mean it Charlie"

Charlie scoffs in disbelief before grabbing my shoulders roughly, "How the fuck are you so boring? How didn't you even get a little mad?"

"Because she's a good person and I think you need to let go off her now and just leave" Farkle says as he places a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

The dark haired boy nods before realsing my shoulders and walks past me without saying a word.

I turn to Missy with an embarassed look, "I'm so sorry, he shouldn't of said all them things"

"Don't apologise for that jackass, are you okay?"

I nod, "I'm fine, he's just drunk"

I turn to thank Farkle to helping me get out of that situation but he had already left.

"I'm going to the bathroom" I announce, "Wanna come with?"

Missy shrugs, "I need to look for Josh"

My heart sinks slightly as I see the adoration in her eyes when she mentions his name.

I nod, "Well good luck"

I make my way towards the bathroom, I knock on the door to check if it's occupied. No voice returned, I let out a happy sigh of relief before opening the bathroom door. My eyes widen when I see a crying blonde girl sat on the floor.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly as I shut the bathroom door.

The blonde shakes her head, "I-I'm not"

"Do you want me to get you a friend?"

"Can you get me Lucas?"

I tilt my head slightly, "Lucas Friar?"

The blonde nods, "Tell him it's Maya"

I nod quickly before leaving the room, I let out a small sigh before I begin on my search for Lucas. Everyone knew who he was, he was one of the most popular guys at our school.

"Have you seen Lucas?" I ask someone as they walk past me, they shake their heads.

"You know, I've always had a thing for rodeo riders" A voice says.

"Well I don't have a thing for desperation"

I turn my head and see Lucas stood their with an amused look on his face, I quickly make my way towards him.

"Lucas!" I exclaim.

"Girl I don't know!" He exclaims back.

"There's a blonde girl crying in the bathroom, and she says she's Maya and that she needs you"

Lucas nods quickly, "Can you take me"

I nod as I grab his hand and lead him towards the bathroom, I knock softly before I open the door.

Maya's now sat on the toilet-seat but she still has tears streaming down her face.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Lucas asks quickly as he bends down to her level and cups her face.

"A-Are you cheating on me?"

"What the fuck? You seriously think I'd fight so hard to be with you, just to blow you off"

A sob escape's Maya's lips, "T-This guy tried it on with me and I said no, a-and then he said if your waiting for F-Friar I've already seen him try it on with girls tonight"

"I swear baby, I've not tried it on with anyone"

"He was so horrible"

Lucas frowns as he strokes her cheek, "Why?"

"He just kept putting his hand down my pants, and I kept trying to get it out and I was shouting but people where just laughing"

The popular boy's eyes narrow dangerously, "WHO THE FUCK WAS HE!?"

"He said he was called Micheal"

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!" Lucas roars as he storms out of the bathroom.

Maya turns to look at me with wide eyes, "P-Please, don't tell anyone that we're together"

I shrug, "I don't really have anyone to tell, I'm kind of a loner"

She laughs, "I'm Maya, incase you didn't realise"

"I'm Riley"

"Well thank you Riley, you seem like a nice person"

"He does care about you" I say softly, "I saw him reject a girl when I went to get him for you and he was so worried about you"

Maya smiles softly, "I think I'm just slightly drunk"

"Do you want anymore help?"

The blonde shakes her head, "I need to go find Luke before he kills someone. But thank you"

I give her a small smile, "It's okay"

I begin walking towards the living room, I see Josh and Missy pinned against a wall with their lips attacking each other.

"CUNT!"I hear a voice exclaim causing everyone to turn towards the source of the voice.

Lucas currently had who I pressume is Micheal, against a wall.

Josh quickly pulls apart from Missy and runs over towards Lucas, and puts a soothing hand on his shoulder, causing Lucas to release his grip from the boy. Causing everyone to go back to normal and for the music to be put back on.

"You're going to fucking die!" Lucas snaps.

"Luke come on, you can't afford to get yourself into more fights"

"He touched Maya!" Lucas hisses.

"Why the fuck does it matter to you?!" Micheal snaps, "You're just fuck buddies, if that"

"I don't care!"

"You must care" Micheal teases, he walks towards Missy, "See if I touched Missy, who the fuck would care then?"

Missy's eyes widen as she takes a step backwards, "P-Please don't"

"I'm joking baby" Micheal says as he strokes her arm causing her to squirm uncomfortably.

"Get off her" Lucas snaps, "You sick fucking freak, that's my fucking step-sister!"

Micheal stares tauntingly at Lucas before he reaches behind Missy and pinches her ass before whispering in her ear.

Lucas's face grows red in anger before he shoves Micheal roughly.

I quickly make my way towards Missy, "You okay?"

"I wanna go home now"

I hear a sigh from behind me, "Come on Riles, Missy can stay at our house"

"What did he say to you?" I ask softly.

Missy visably tenses, "I-I don't want to say"

"Let's go guys" Josh says softly, as he puts a hand on the small of my back and begins to lead both Missy and I out of Farkles apartment.

We walk in silence until we reach the elevator, I turn too look at Missy whos now got tears streaming down her face.

"Hey it's okay!" I whisper as I hestiantly wrap my arms around her.

"Seriously? What did he say?" I ask again a slightly more stern tone.

"H-He...h-h-he s-said that he-he could just r-ra-rape me and no-no on-one w-would care be-because I-I'm a slut" She manages out before a sob escapes her lips.

"What?!" Josh hisses, "Is he fucking joking?!"

"W-What if he-he d-does..."

"Lucas, Farkle and I, won't let that happen" Josh says sternly, "Alright?"

Missy nods silently.

"C-Can I stay with you tonight?" Missy asks softly, her eyes pleading as she looks up at my brother.

Josh sighs slightly before hestitantly nodding, "I guess so"


	3. Missy's story part 1

I feel myself being directed towards Josh's room, his hands on my shoulders as he gently pushes me inside.

I nod towards myself before sitting down on his bed, I grimace as I glance at myself in the mirror.

I looked like a mess.

Hell, I am a mess.

I'm not a good person.

If I was a good person, people wouldn't say things like that to me all the time.

"Hey, drink this" Josh says as he returns into his room with a glass of water.

I take it off him slowly before taking a large sip, "Why are you being kind to me?" I ask softly.

"Because you're scared and you need a friend"

I look at the ceiling intently, "We're not friends though"

"Well I couldn't leave you on your own"

"I thought you didn't like me when I was sober" I murmur softly as I turn my head towards him.

Josh sighs before sitting down next to me, "Missy, I don't really know you when your sober"

"I don't think you'd want to know me"

"Well Riley seems to have taken a shine to you"

I shrug, "She'll go off me, everyone does"

Josh gives me a strange look, "Since when does Missy Bradford, sit and feel sorry for herself?"

"Josh, can I ask you a question and please, I want you to be honest"

"I'll be honest"

"Am I bad person?" I murmur as my voice cracks slightly.

The boy next to me snorts, "I gave you a lecture on why you're not good enough for me, and you just nodded and yet your asking me if I think your a bad person"

I silently stare at him.

"You're not a bad person Missy"

"I'm a slut and everyone knows it"

"That doesn't make you a bad person, it's actually one of the qualities I like about you"

I laugh before shoving his shoulder, "Don't be a jackass"

"Honestly Missy, I think if I got to know you then I'd think your a very good person"

"Why don't you want to get to know me?"

Josh stares at me expectantly, "I don't know, I guess I just like things the way we are"

I snort, "Like how I suck your dick and then the morning after you act like I don't exist"

"Exactly"

I feel hurt overwhelm me.

I was never going to be good enough for him, no matter how hard I tried.

"Wait, I didn't mean it like that"

I shake my head as I give him a fake smile, "It's okay, I understand"

"One day, a guy is going to give you exactly what your looking for, and I know that your looking for more than just meaningless sex" Josh says softly as he wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"That guy won't be you though will it?"

"No, it won't"

I let out a small sigh, "Maybe, I should get a cab home"

"I thought you wanted to stay here?"

"No, I'm fine" I manage out, as I quickly stand up and begin to leave him room.

"Missy-"

I cut him off, "Thank you for taking care of me, and could you please thank Riley as well for me"

The brown haired boy nods, "I will"

I give him a smile before I leave his bedroom and begin to walk outside of their apartment. I lean against their apartment hallway wall and sink down to my knees as I feel tears flood my eyes.

All I wanted was to be enough.

For a guy to actually like me, and not just my body.

The apartment door swings open, I turn my head to reveal Josh with my phone and purse in his hands.

"You won't be able to get very far without your phone and purse" He murmurs before he sits down next to me.

"I don't even know where I want to go, Lucas will be too overly protective when I get home"

"Are you surprised after what that little cunt said?!"

"Please don't tell Luke, what he said"

"Why?"

"Because he will physically kill Micheal, if he hasn't already"

"So? He deserves it!"

I shrug, "Maybe, he's got problems in his mind or maybe he's going through a bad time"

"He said he could...he could rape you"

A feeling of nausea washes over me when he repeats the words, Micheal said to me.

"He might not be a bad person though" I say softly.

"Don't defend him!"

"I'm not, but you never know what's going on with people!"

"If you defend him one more time, than I won't speak to you anymore"

"Why are you getting mad? he said the stuff to me not to you"

"Exactly!" Josh snaps, "Why aren't you mad?!"

"I-I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I got you mad"

Josh sighs, "I'm mad at him, there's no way in hell that I'm mad at you right now"

I bit my lip before resting my head onto the boy's shoulder sat next to me, "I hope Maya's okay"

"She's got Lucas, she'll be okay" Josh murmurs as he gently strokes the top my head.

I smile slightly, "You know this is the longest we've spoken without having sex"

"I know, it's strange"

"Before you ask, no I'm not in the mood to suck your dick"

Josh laughs, "I wasn't going to ask"

"Hmm" I say as I give him a look.

"Fine, maybe I was slightly hoping that you'd suck me off"

"Keep hoping Matthews"

"Are you staying here or at home?"

I shrug, "I haven't got a clue, probably home"

"I'll walk you downstairs, so you can get a cab"

"It's fine, I can make it downstairs"

Josh shakes his head, "I don't know, if Michael's left yet and I don't want to risk it"

"You're a good person" I say softly as we begin to stand up.

"I know"

I roll my eyes as a smile graces my face, "It must be your modesty"

Josh laughs loudly, "You're right that and my killer good looks"

I purse my lips together, "I wouldn't say they're exactly killer"

His brown eyes widen, "Have you seen this jawline? I could easily cut a bitch"

I laugh loudly, "This bitch must be paper-thin"

Josh gives me an amused look before gently shoving me, "Come on Bradford, let's get you in a cab before you kill my confidence even more"

I shrug, "I only speak the truth"

"Well your truth is another mans lies"

My eyebrows furrow together, "How does that even make any sense?"

"I know, half of what I say makes no sense whatsoever"

"Yeah, no shit"

"You're getting awfully sassy with me"

I shrug, "You're fun to play with"

Josh wriggles his eyebrows at me, "Well so are you, you're very flexible"

I feel my cheeks flush slightly before I shove him, "Shut up! I didn't mean it like that"

"Oh, of course you didn't"

I laugh slightly as a feeling of contentness fills my stomach.

Why was it so easy?

Why was talking to Josh so easy?

I always felt like there'd be awkardness because we only knew each other from having sex.

"It's a shame we won't be able to talk like this again" I say as I look up at him.

"Maybe one day we can be friends, but that means leaving out all the sexual stuff"

"Well would you rather us be friends or would you rather us just have sex?"

Josh looks down, "I don't want to tell you that"

I nod stiffly, "So sex it is"

"It's just because-"

"It's fine Josh, I get it"

"No you don't"

I furrow my eyebrows as I stare up at him, my eyes widen when I feel him cup my face and place his lips onto mine. I quickly kiss him back as I wrap my arms around his neck.


	4. Maya's story part 1

I smile lovingly as I watch as my boyfriend furrows his eyebrows in his sleep.

How could someone be so perfect?

"You know blondie, you watching me sleep is a little creepy"

I narrow my eyes, "I don't want you sleep hop-along"

Laughter errupts from his lips "Then what where you just doing?"

"I was closely obeserving" I point out as I prop myself up onto my elbows.

Lucas grins and turns on his side so that he can see me better, "You so fancy me"

I laugh slightly, "Yeah well we are together"

"Still, it's pretty embarassing"

I narrow my eyes before I grab the pillow I was recently sleeping and slap him in the face with it.

"I love spending time like this with you" He murmurs.

"What me hitting you with a pillow?" I ask as an amused look crosses onto my face.

"No, just us being able to be us" He says softly as he grabs my face and pulls me towards him for a kiss.

My stomach explodes with butterflies.

"We'll be able to tell people one day" I murmur as I stroke his face tenderly.

"Yeah, when you get new friends"

I roll my eyes, "It's not my fault, all my friends have a cult against you because you slept with them and then ditched them"

"Maybe you should of warned them from the start"

I laugh, "Yeah, well maybe I should have, but then I wouldn't of had to have that very heated argument with you which then led to very heated sex"

Lucas smirks, "The memory of it still gives me a boner"

"So romantic" I snort.

"Come on blondie, it was hot"

"It was alright"

Lucas raises his eyebrows before climbing ontop of me and pinning me down to the bed, his lips connect with my neck. I move my head slightly so that he was more room.

I moan escapes my lips when he kisses along my jawline.

I stare up at him with adoration before capturing his lips onto mine, he deepens the kisses automatically.

We pull apart slightly breathless.

"You know, what I'm in the mood for?" I announce.

"For you to ride my face all day" My boyfriend asks hopefully.

I narrow my eyes before slapping his shoulder, "No, I'm really not"

"Fine, then what do you wanna do?"

"I wanna take the day of school and go to do something spontaneous"

"Now there's the spunky blonde, I love and know"

I blink.

"What did you just say?"

Lucas' eyes widen like a deer caught in head slighs.

"Now there's the spunky blonde"

"Nope after that"

"I know"

I shake my head, "No before that"

"Oh love"

"Yeah, you said you love me"

"It was casual though"

"You love me!" I exclaim as happiness fills up inside of me,

"I-I"

"Y-You.." I tease as I poke his cheek.

"Fine, maybe I do love you"

"Aw that's cute" I say patronisingly.

Lucas' eyes widen, "You're not gonna say it back"

I shrug, "Meh, your okay"

"Okay? I'm okay"

"Calm down Augustus Waters" I joke as I climb out of bed.

"Say it Maya, tell me"

"Tell you what Friar"

"Tell me, you love me"

I freeze slightly.

"I can't..."

Lucas' face falls, "You don't love me"

The expression on his face kills me.

"I can't because, I don't know what love feels like"

His eyebrows furrow together, "What do you mean? You know what love is"

I shake my head, "My dad left when I was little, my mom is never around. So I don't know what any kind of love feels like. I've never witnessed what love is"

"That's not possible"

"W-What?"

"How can someone like you not know what love is?"

My heart stops.

I quickly race over towards him and place my lips onto his, he tangles his hands in my hair.

…

I wince slightly as I hear shattering glass coming from my living room, it was nearly three in the morning. But apparently my mom's new boyfriend didn't seem to care.

"PLEASE, MAYA'S ASLEEP!" I hear my mother screech.

My heart twists as the desperation and pain in her voice becomes apparent.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"

My eyes widen massively when I hear a loud screech, I quickly tip-toe out of my room and into the hallway, bile threatens to rise from my stomach to my throat when I see my mother's boyfriend gripping her hair roughly before shoving her to the floor.

Tears burn my eyes, as I resist the urge to help her. But we've been in this situation before, I know what to do.

Hestiantly, I reach for my phone which was safely tucked into my jogger bottom pockets, I bite my lip before calling 911.

'Ring...Ring..-'

"911, What's your emergency?"

I race back to my bedroom, "My mom's boyfriend is acting really aggressive towards her and is pulling her hair and throwing her on the floor"

"Has he harmed you or just your mother?"

"Just my mom"

"Is there any chance that he has any weapons on him?"

A lump rises in my throat, "I-I know he keeps a gun, in his room"

"Okay, just give me your address and someone will be right with you"

"45 Minster Cresent, Apartment number tweleve on the fourth floor..."

I hear another loud screech causing me to tremble slightly, "Please hurry...please"

"Someone is coming now"

"T-Thanks" I murmur shakily, before hanging up the phone.

I slowly creep back towards the living room, I see my mother sat on the floor shaking while her boyfriend stands over threatningly with an empty bottle of Gin in his hand.

"M-Mom?" I call out worriedly, when I see blood trickling from the top of her head down to her face.

"It's fine Maya, just go back to bed" Her boyfriend grumbles.

I shake my head, "S-She's hurt"

"Maya, go back to bed!"

"I-" I start, before he begins to stride towards me causing my eyes to widen in fear, before he roughly grabs my face causing me to flinch massively.

"I said go to fucking bed, before I do something to that pretty little face of yours" He whispers in my ear.

I nod slowly before he releases me, I regretfully begin to walk back to my room.

"SEE SHE CAN FUCKING LISTEN, SO WHY CAN'T YOU?!" I hear him shout.

A sob escapes my lips as I lean against my wall, I cover my hands with my ears.

Relief races through me as if it's my new oxygen supply when I hear distant sirens, suddenly the sirens stop.

I grow slight courage before stepping out of my bedroom, I hear rapid knocks on the aparment door.

"WHO THE FUCK IS IT?!" He shouts, his words slightly slurred, before he swings the door open to reveal two police officers.

"Sir, we've been called here due to reports of violent and threatening behavior"

The druken mess swings his head around and narrows his eyes at me, "YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE-"

My mother appears in the living room with a flushed face and a sheepish smile, "Good evening, officers is everything okay?"

"Ma'am your bleeding, is everything okay here?"

I give her pleading eyes, please mom.

Please just tell the truth.

"Everything's fine"

The officers warily look her up and down, "Ma'am you have large bruises on your arms and we have been reported here due to reports that your boyfriend has been acting violent"

My mom turns to look at me as unshed tears burn in my eyes, "Yes, yes he has."

I let out a breath, I didn't realise I was holding.

"Please can we ask you go down town so that we can ask you some questions?"

"I don't know if I can leave my daugther"

I shake my head, "I-I'll call Lucas"

"Then yes, I can go down"

One of the officers restrains her boyfriend, "Sir, your under-arrest for domestic violence behaviour, anything you say now may be used against you in court, you have the right to remain silent"


	5. Farkle's story part 1

"FARKLE!" I hear a small voice cry out, I jump slightly before putting out my cigarette out the window.

I quickly run down the hallway of my apartment until I reach the last door, I enter the pink covered room.

"Farkle, when's mommy coming home?" My four year old sister Nova asks.

I sigh before I sit on the edge of her bed, "She's working right now, but I promise when you wake up she'll be at home"

Nova pouts, "She always works, ever since daddy doesn't come home anymore"

I feel a pang in my chest when I hear the pain, in my little sisters voice.

"She's earning lots of money, so you can have lots of nice toys"

"I'd rather have no toys and have mommy here"

"So would I Nove, but she's got to work"

"You won't leave me will you Farkle?" She asks in a small voice.

I wrap my arm around her small shoulders, "I'll never leave you shortstack"

"I'm not short! I'm taller than Maisie"

"Who's Maisie?"

"A friend I made, she liked my hair!"

I laugh slightly at her excitedness, "Well you do have nice hair"

Nova nods rapidly, "It's nicer than your hair"

I roll my eyes, "You wish!"

"I have long hair like Rapunzel!"

"Why don't we cut it off?" I say jokingly, causing her to gasp loudly and clutch her hair.

"NO! FARKLE PLEASE!" She cries out.

I laugh, "Don't worry Nove, I won't cut off your hair"

"Thank you! Your a good brother!"

"How about we get too sleep?"

The curly haired brunette shakes her head, "I'm not tired yet!"

My eyebrows furrow together as an unknown caller begins ringing me, hestiantly I answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"It's Ryan, I could really buy something right now"

I sigh, "I'm kind of busy right now"

"Come on man, I'll give you a hundred"

"Let me call you back"

I quickly hang up the phone before dialling a familiar number.

'Ring...Ring..'

"Minkus!" My best friends voice greets.

"Are you drunk?"

"Maybe, how may I help?"

"Do you know what Missy is doing right now?"

"Hopefully she's about to suck my dick" Josh says before he let outs a screech of pain, "Or maybe not"

"Is there anyone you know, who could babysit Nova for like twenty minuets?"

"Riles, Riley will do it"

I sigh, "Sure, I'll try her. Send me her number"

"Sure man"

I hang up the phone and turn too look at Nova who's giving me a sad expression causing my heart to sink.

"You're going out again, aren't you?"

"Nove, I don't want to leave. I promise I'll be twenty minuets"

"Where are you going?"

"I need to do something, so that I can help mommy pay the bills"

"Just ask the bill man to stop giving them to us"

I laugh before stroking the top of her head, "I wish it was that easy"

My phone dings which indicates that Josh has sent me Riley's number, I quickly check and see it is indeed the younger Matthew's number.

I bit my lip before dialling it.

'Ring...Ring...Ri-'

"Hello?" A tired voice asks.

"Riley? Hey it's Farkle"

"Farkle? Are you okay? Oh my god, is it Josh?!"

"Baby Matthew's relax, it's fine. We're all fine"

"Oh why are you ringing me?" She asks before a yawn escapes her lips.

"I need you to do me a massive favour, please"

"What is it?"

"Please can you come downstairs for like twenty minuets, and just watch my little sister?"

"Why where are you going?"

"I'll explain when I get back, please"

A sigh leaves Riley's lips, "Fine, I'll be down in five minuets"

"Thank you!" I say as relief fills inside of me, I quickly hang up the phone.

"Who's Riley?" Nova asks cutely as she tilts her head to the side.

"She's my friend, and she's going to look after you while I go talk to the bill man"

"Can we play dress up?!"

"You'll have to ask her Nove"

Nova quickly climbs out of bed and pulls on her dressing gown, "I'll make sure she says yes"

I laugh slightly before re-dialling Ryan's number.

'Ring..Ri-'

"Farkle! Can you sort me out?"

"Yeah meet me in twenty minuets, at the park opposite my building?"

"Yeah sorted man, I'll be there"

"I just need to grab something from my room, you go in the living room and wait for Riley"

Nova nods quickly before grabbing one of her dolls and racing towards the living room.

I sigh before going inside me room, and searching underneath my bed before taking out several packets of various substances and stuffing them into my pockets.

There's a knock on the apartment door.

"SHE'S HERE!" Nova shouts.

I compose myself before walking towards my apartment door and swinging the door open to reveal a tired looking Riley Matthew's who had on a yellow top and grey shorts.

Riley grins when as she notices Nova peering behind me, "Hey Princess, I'm Riley"

"I'm Nova!"

"And I'm Farkle" I say jokingly causing the brunette across from me to roll her eyes.

"Riley, you look like my dolly!" My sister cries out as she shows Riley, her princess Belle doll from beauty and the beast.

"Thank you very much, but I think she looks more like you"

"Well we are both pretty!" Nova states casually.

Riley laughs, "Gosh, the Minkus' are modest"

I shrug, "Well, what can I say?"

"Where are you going?"

"I need to earn some money" I state stiffly.

"Seriously? You're ditching your baby sister for...that"

"I've got to do stuff, I'm not proud off but hey that's life!"

Riley rolls her eyes, "Just don't take anything, while you're gone"

"I won't, don't worry. I'll be back soon"

I feel something tug on my sleeve, I look down and see Nova staring up at me.

"Promise you're coming back?"

I sigh before kissing the top of her head, "I promise"

"Bye Farkle!"

"Bye" Riley murmurs before turning her attention back towards my little sister.

I roll my eyes before leaving my apartment.

I really wasn't in the mood to be around people like Ryan tonight, but I had to be there for my family. I'm not going to be a wash-out like my dad.

Whether it was exactly legal or not, I'm going to provide for my family.

And give Nova the things in life she deserves like the nicest toys and the prettiest clothes that she wanted. I wasn't going to let my dad's mistakes ruin her childhood.

And I know Mom tries, but she's not around and never graduated high-school, so her finding a good paying job doesn't exactly have the greatest odds.

…

I exhale from my cigarette slowly as I begin walking back towards my apartment building with a hundred dollars extra sitting in my pockets. I put out my bud before walking into my buidling and up the stairs until I reach my level.

I walk towards my apartment door, I smile slightly when I hear loud laughter coming from inside of my apartment.

I swing the door open to reveal both Riley and Nova sat on the kitchen counter laughing towards each other.

"FARKLE!" Nova cries out, as I walk towards them.

"Hey, what've you been up to then?"

"Riley, made me cookie dough!" My sisters states, "I like her and the cookie dough very much"

"Well, I like you" Riley says softly before she pokes my sisters belly.

"Farkle, please can Riley come for tea tomorrow?"

I sigh before looking at Riley and shrugging, "It's up to you"

"Uh, sure. I had no plans anyway"

"Is this because Charlie is silly?"

Riley nods, "Exactly"

"Have you been coming to my four year old sister for boy advice?" I ask with amusement lacing my tone.

The brunette next to me nods, "Well, she told me she has four boyfriends so I figured she knows what she's doing"

My eyes widen as a gasp escapes my mouth, "YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!"

"Riley! It was secret!" Nova whines.

 **A:N**

 **Who's story have you enjoyed or found the most intresting so far, Riley's, Missy's, Maya's or Farkle's?**

 **Zay's story is next, then Josh's and finally Lucas'.**

 **What would you like too see happen next?**


	6. Zay's story part 1

I shake my head quickly as I sit at my diner table ready to eat whatever my mother has been slaving over for the past few hours.

"Can you believe it Isiah?" My father announces as he sits down across the table from me.

"Sorry, believe what sir?"

"The Wilson's kid across the street, apparently he's gay"

I tense slightly, "Oh...is he?"

"Yes, it's just not natural. God created Adam and Eve together, he intended to have only man and woman relatioships"

Slight relief floods through me when my older brother Felix begins to speak up.

"But dad, things do change"

My dad grunts in annoyance, "Well I don't like it and if either of you ever decided to be like that way, then I'd be done with you. No thoughts about it, imagine turning up to church with a boy who likes other boy's it'd be porpostraous!"

Anger burns inside of me.

It isn't a choice, you don't just decide how you feel.

Tust me because how I feel isn't a choice.

Sometimes I wish it was a choice, then I'd be easier to fit under my fathers preception of being 'normal'.

But I am normal, I'm still the same person I've always been.

Ever since I could remember I had only been attracted towards Males, yes I've tried to get into relationships and sexual activities with girls but the thought made me feel uneasy.

But due to my fathers old fashioned ways, I had to keep my feelings a secret.

No one knew.

And no one could ever know, as long as I live in this house.

My mother walks through into the dining room with a bowl of pasta in her hands, she sets it in the middle of the table before giving me a reassuring smile.

"Isiah, aren't you hungry?" My mother asks softly.

No I wasn't hungry.

I was angry.

I was angry that all my thoughts and feelings had be locked away, because I didn't have a father who loved me enough to accept me as who I am, no matter what.

I was angry because I was stuck in the same routine of pretending. Pretending to be someone who I really wasn't.

I was angry because I couldn't talk to anyone about how feel.

"Y-Yes sorry" I murmur before taking a scoop of pasta and putting it on my plate.

"Isiah, where is that girlfriend of yours this evening?"

I grimace slightly, "Oh, she's at cheerleading practice"

"What's her name again?"

Shit.

Shit me.

"Missy" I say quickly.

"That's a lovely name" My mother says.

"It's just a name Michelle" Dad snorts,.

"I-I just thought it was a nice name"

My dad rolls his eyes before turning to me seriously, "I hope you two are staying pure, and that nothing happens before marriage"

I nod before sighing and showing him my purity ring, "I've still got it on"

"I know it must be hard son, but it's the way god wants us to behave and he is the one who placed us on this earth"

I nod slowly, "I know dad"

…

I let out a sigh before I run towards the car parked at the bottom of my drive, I look around before climbing inside.

"You ready to party?!" Lucas calls out from beside me in the driving seat.

I nod, "Yeah, let's do this"

"You don't seem to excited"

"Why? Is your dad being a dick again?"

I huff slightly, "Yeah something like that"

Lucas laughs, and I swear it's one of the greatest things I've ever heard.

Yes, I'll be honest.

I do have some sort of feelings lying there towards Lucas, but I know that he's intrested in girls, maybe a little too intrested in girls.

"So how many girls are we hooking up with tonight?"

I move uncomfortably, "I don't know man, I'll probably just follow your lead"

"I can't"

"W-What?"

"I told you, I need to earn Maya's trust"

My heart sinks.

"Come on dude, if she won't commit but now just leave her"

"She's scared and especially seem as my reputation isn't the best I get why"

"Should't she like you inspite of that though" I murmur.

Lucas shrugs, "I don't know, the whole thing is really complicated. And hey, how come your so against us being together?"

"I-I'm not"

"Do you like her or something?"

I sigh, I could just tell him everything right here.

But that could only lead to either to things happening, him accepting me and being grateful I shared this with him or him not wanting to be friends with me any more because I wasn't 'normal'.

"I mean she's hot, but she's too fiesty for me"

Okay, that wasn't a total lie.

I mean, Maya is hot. Just because I'm gay, it doesn't mean that I can't recongise when a girl is hot, it just means I'm not attracted to them.

"That's one of the things I like about her" Lucas says casually, but judging on the stupid grin on his face, it was anything but casual.

Fuck.

I just want to be able to like girls, and not have to feel this way constantly.

It hurt, seeing him care about her so much hurt.

Especially knowing that there's no way in hell that he'd ever care about me in that way, unless I magically grew a vagina.

"You're so whipped"

Lucas chuckles, "I don't know what I am"

"You are a changed man, the Lucas Friar I know wouldn't be sat smiling all goofy about girls"

Lucas looks at me with furrowed eyebrows before sighing, "Zay, it'll work out won't it...you know with Maya?"

"I hope so buddy" I say as I clasp his shoulder.

I did hope things worked out for him deep down, Maya was a brilliant person and we where all friends. And she made him happy, and that's all that I want for him.


	7. Josh's story part 1

"JOSH!" I hear someone shout as soon as I walk inside of the party which was filled with various people.

I turn my head and see my boys; Farkle, Zay and Lucas stood their with beer cans in hand.

"Hey guys!" I greet, happiness forms inside of me when I get passed a can of beer, "Cheers dude"

Farkle lets out a low whistle as his eyes are fixated on something, I follow his eyeline and see him checking out probably the most beautiful girl, I've ever seen in my entire life.

She had jet black hair, olive skin and massive green eyes.

"I think I'm actually gonna get a boner just looking at her" I admit.

"I think I might be too late" Farkle murmurs.

The girl chuckles slightly before beginning to walk over towards us.

"Oh my god, she's coming this way!" Farkle shrieks.

"Oh my, act cool. Just act cool"

"Saying act cool, isn't exactly cool" The girl teases.

"And we've fucked it" I squeak out.

The black haired beauty giggles, "I don't think you've fucked it quite yet"

I chuckle before smirking slightly, "I'm Josh"

"I'm Andie"

"And I'm Farkle, not that anyone cares" My best friend murmurs before walking away.

"Your friend seems upset"

I shrug, "He'll live"

Andie rolls her eyes before smiling at me, "Why do I get the feeling your going to fuck me over?"

"Because he is!" A voice slurs.

Shit.

Fuck.

No, please.

I turn my head to see a very drunk Missy stood next to me, a sloppy grin plastered onto her face.

"Your funny Missy" I say before gently shoving her away.

"He'll sleep with you and then act like you don't exist!"

Anger runs through me.

"She's drunk, she's not talking properly" I explain calmly towards Andie.

Andie shakes her head, "It's fine"

"I'm just gonna get her some fresh air"

I roughly grab Missy's shoulders causing her to wince slightly, my eyes widen towards my own behavior.

"J-Josh, that hurts!" She cries out.

I feel something pang in my chest.

"I-I didn't mean to hurt you" I say as immediately release her.

Missy turns her head to face me, "You always hurt me, all you've ever done is hurt me!"

I blink, "Missy, I'm really not in the mood-"

"Okay" She murmurs before staggering away, I watch her closely as some guy grabs her into his arms.

"I've been looking for you" He murmurs, "I wanted to have some fun tonight"

The small brunette hiccups, "I don't do that anymore"

"Bullshit, come on babe"

"No, I'm not in the mood"

"Come on, you know you want too"

Missy shakes her head as he tries to kiss her, "No"

The guy chuckles before grabbing her face and kissing her, as she attempts to push her off him.

"Please, stop"

I sigh before walking over towards them, "Hey guys"

"Matthews!"

"Missy is mine tonight, so find someone else" I say cockily before I gently grab Missy away from him.

"Cool dude, sorry I didn't know" He says before leaving.

"You didn't have to do that"

"I have a little sister, I'd protect any girl"

Missy looks up at me, "And I'm just any girl right?"

"Fine, yes we sleep together but that's it"

"Why?"

"Because you're not good enough!" I hiss.

Her hazel eyes quickly fill with tears as she slowly backs away from me.

I don't think, I've ever regretted something so much in my life.

"At least I know now" Missy whispers before walking away.

I close my eyes before sighing loudly.

Well done Josh, you're a complete dick.

"I heard that" I hear Andie say from behind me.

I whip around, "Let me explain"

"There's nothing to explain, I'm going too see if that girls okay"

I'm such a fucking tool.

I hear my phone ring, I check the caller ID and see that it's Riley calling me.

"Hello?"

"Josh! How could you say that too Missy?! She's just rang me bawling her eyes out!"

"I-I didn't mean it like that, I just wanted her to stop liking me"

"There's better ways to say it"

"Well, I think she can do better than me anyway"

"Your right, she can"

"Alright bye Riley" I say tiredly.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Tell Farkle, that Nova's fast asleep, so be quiet when he comes in"

"Since when did you become Mrs. Doubtfire?" I ask sarcastically.

"The same time you became an ass"

"Touche'" I murmur dryly.

"Bye Josh"

I hang up the phone, before I sit down on the sofa and burry my hand into my hands.

…

Dread fills inside of me, as I make my way towards my first period class. It was a class I shared with Missy, and we sat on the same fucking table.

Just great.

Anxiety washes over me, as I stand outside the door which belonged to the classroom I was supposed to be in.

I was currently five minuets late.

Come on Josh.

You made the mistake, you've got to cope with it.

I hestiantly reach for the handle before opening it, I keep my head down as I make my way towards my seat.

"Lovely for you to join us, Joshua"

I look up and see Missy sat there with a blank expression on her face as she stared longingly at the window.

She didn't look like her usual self, usually she'd have make up piled on and tight clothes on. But today her face was make-up free and her clothes where anything but tight.

"Missy" I whisper gently.

Missy turns to look at me, "Josh, please I'm not in the mood"

"I just need want to explain"

My eyebrows furrow as our teacher approaches our table and pulls up a chair and seats down next too Missy.

"My condolences are with you, Miss. Bradford. If you want to be excused from any homework for the next two weeks then I completely understand" He says quietly, but I still manage just work out what he's saying.

Missy shakes her head quickly, "I just want to act normal"

Condolences?

What happened?

"Your mother was a wonderful woman, who I had the honour to teach. She'll be missed"

The brunette nods as tears quickly flood her eyes.

Missy's mom has just died.

And I've been an absoulte dick.

I don't think I've ever hated myself more in my entire life.


End file.
